|
Approved: rating given by Mom & Dad to their daughter's new boyfriend, who's in medical school
Non-approved: rating given by Mom & Dad to their daughter's new boyfriend, who's working at the car wash
Bonding: the cosmic unison of two people's souls, aura's and karma
Bonding jumper : a criminal who disappears after someone posts his bond
Continuos load: your live-in mother in-law
Conductor: the person who drives the train
Conduit : we "con-duit" for you. All jobs large or small, we deliver safe, quality work
Dead front : an affliction that occasionally effects adult males
Demand factor: a point at which Dad finally gives in and says yes to his daughter's insistent demands for another new pair of shoes
Dimmer: what all the lights in the house seem to be after the handyman repairs the bathroom outlet
Dust tight: something with so much dust on it, that it can't be cleaned
Exposed : the condition of the plumber, who is bent over working under your sink
Feeder: something your wife yells at you to do at 2:00 in the morning, when you're two-week-old daughter is crying
Fire: 1: what you should do to the handyman one hour after he starts remodeling your kitchen; 2: what often happens because you didn't fire the handyman
Fish tape: tape used to repair fish
Flash light: usually what immediately follows after the "OHM" chant (see ohm)
Grounded : the removal or suspension of your teenager's privileges for coming in after curfew
Grounding: the threat of the removal or suspension of your teenagers privileges for coming in after curfew (see "Grounded")
Hazardous location: your teenage son's bedroom
Hertz: Americas #1 car rental dealer; Mega-hertz: a whole lotta #1 car rental dealers
Hickey bender: what fathers want to do to the boys who make those black marks on their daughter's necks
Ohm: part of a chant that handymen use when connecting two wires together "Ohmmm I hope this worrrrks"
Outlet: a large discount shopping area; Light outlet: a large discount shopping area for non-serious, occasional shoppers; Power outlet: a large discount shopping area for serious, heavy-duty shoppers
Overloaded: what your brain becomes while trying to explain those questionable deductions to the IRS agent
Qualified person: everyone on Romitti Electric's staff
Screwdriver: a strong drink made of orange juice and vodka, needed immediately after the "FLASH LIGHT" to calm the handyman's nerves (see ohm and flashlight)
Special permission: what fathers give to their daughters on Prom night, to stay out after curfew
Switch: a thin, strong branch, usually form a hickory tree, applied by Dad to Jonny's backside, after sneaking off with the car; 3-way switch: same as above, but adding Jonny's two brothers who were discovered to be Jonny's accomplices; 4-way switch: includes sister Joanie
Switchboard: what Ernestine the operator works at (one ringy-dingy)
T-rated: approved by Mr. "T"
Volts: what a good citizen does on the first Tuesday in November
Voltmeter: device used to count "volts" on election day
Wet location: a baby's bottom after six hours of no diaper changes
ZIGZAG Transformer: the dude at the head shop who can transform a paper into a special cigarette, using only one hand
120/240: the blood pressure of the handyman as he guesses his way through your kitchen remodeling
277/480: the homeowner's blood pressure after learning he has to spend thousands of dollars more, because everything the handyman did is wrong, and has to be redone
Sparky's Daffynitions are intended to be fun and entertaining. Unfortunately there are many so-called "electricians" out there who don't know the difference.
BACK
A professional Electrical
Contractor
who you can trust for lighting,
wiring, and everything in between. |
